From the creator of the blog "Renegade Mothering," Janelle Hanchett's forthright, wickedly funny, and ultimately empowering memoir chronicling her tumultuous journey from young motherhood to abysmal addiction and a recovery she never imagined possible.
At 21, Janelle Hanchett embraced motherhood with the reckless self-confidence of those who have no idea what they're getting into. Having known her child's father for only three months, she found herself rather suddenly getting to know a newborn, husband, and wholly transformed identity. She was in love, but she was bored, directionless, and seeking too much relief in too much wine.
Over time, as she searched for home in suburbia and settled life, a precarious drinking habit turned into treacherous dependence, until life became car seats and splitting hangovers, cubicles and multi-day drug binges--and finally, an inconceivable separation from her children. For ten years, Hanchett grappled with the relentless progression of addiction, bouncing from rehabs to therapists to the occasional hippie cleansing ritual on her quest for sobriety, before finding it in a way she never expected.
This is a story we rarely hear--of the addict mother not redeemed by her children; who longs for normalcy but cannot maintain it; and who, having traveled to the bottom of addiction, all the way to "society's hated mother," makes it back, only to discover she will always remain an outsider.
Like her irreverent, hilarious, and unflinchingly honest blog, "Renegade Mothering," Hanchett's memoir speaks with warmth and wit to those who feel like outsiders in parenthood and life--calling out the rhetoric surrounding "the sanctity of motherhood" as tired and empty, boldly recounting instead how one grows to accept an imperfect self within an imperfect life--thinking, with great and final relief, "Well, I'll be damned, I'm just happy to be here."
MY THOUGHTS ON THE BOOK
I will start this by saying that I am rarely a reader of "mommy blogs", though I have followed Janelle's blog, Renegade Mothering, for years. I was excited when I got an advanced copy of her book. This book is just so intense. It is gripping, tragic, and it is entirely beautiful. Author Janelle Hanchett isn't just writing about addiction, alcoholism, and motherhood. She is also talking about love and tragedy, faithlessness and faithfulness, loss and redemption. This book tells the story of overcoming your past and being all the better for it.
"I supposed some of us don’t have the luxury of neatly wrapped truth, of affirmations that rest on our tongues like peppermints. Some of us need to be doused in gasoline and set aflame, until the truth consumes us, and we have no choice but to recreate ourselves.”
I am not a former drug addict. I don't have any kids, let alone four but this book resonated with me in ways I never thought could be possible. This isn't the type of book that says, "I got clean and you can too and here's how!" This is just a book by a woman who is sharing her struggles in the hopes of helping someone else out. The author doesn't claim to have all the answers or that your journey will be like yours. This isn't a self-help book, its a memoir, and its damn good.
"I signed my daughter out, chatted with the receptionist, held my girl's hand to the car to make sure she was safe, and all these actions felt like tiny miracles. I gave the death glare to the woman when I saw her in the parking lot, because I was sober, not Jesus."
I read this book in one sitting. That is how I measure if a book is good or not. If I can't put the book down or stop thinking about it, then you know the book is pretty dang good. The writing is beautiful.
Disclaimer: Thanks to NetGalley and Hachette Books for an ARC.
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